Toasties – deconstructed

Faced with a school project to ‘Write a Technical Document Giving Directions’, 14-year-old Joburg resident Ioan Paphitis opted for a step-by-step guide to toasted sandwiches. We just had to share! And yes – he is related to our managing editor, Andrea

How to make a toasted cheese and tomato sandwich

1. In order to make the sandwich, you must first have: Cheese, a grater, a plate, a toasting machine, a tomato, a chopping board, two knives, a pair of scissors, two slices of bread, a spatula and butter.

2. First, for hygienic reasons wash your hands. Then place the grater on the plate.

3. Then, using the scissors, cut open the packaging of the cheese. If this has already been done at a previous point, it is not necessary.

4. Hold the top of the grater with one hand, while with the other, lift the cheese up and down allowing for it to slide along the side of the grater.

5. When you believe you have grated for long enough, lift the grater above the plate and determine whether you have grated enough cheese or not. If not, repeat step 4.

6. Place the slices of bread flat on the chopping board. Open the container of butter and slide the knife through it in such a manner that the butter sticks to the knife. Then spread the butter along one side of each slice of bread.

7. Next, take the tomato to the sink, turning the tap so that the cold water runs on it. Turn off the tap before bringing the tomato back to place on the chopping board.

8. Following this, take the second knife and while holding the tomato with one hand, carefully slice the tomato into even slices. One should avoid cutting oneself.

9. When you are pleased with your slices, flip the bread so that the buttered side is face down on the chopping board.

10. Next, bringing the plate which at this point should contain the grated cheese and, taking handfuls at a time, sprinkle on the unbuttered side of one of the slices of bread. DO NOT put the cheese on both slices of bread or it shall make a mess.

11. After this, take the tomatoes and in much the same way place the slices on one of the slices of bread. Again, DO NOT put the slices of tomato on both slices of bread.

12. Take the toasting machine and plug it into the wall socket. It would be wise to refrain from electrocuting oneself. Leaving the lid open, wait until the light on the toaster turns green. While you wait continue with step 13.

13. Very carefully pick up the slice of bread that does not have any grated cheese or slices of tomato. Place it on top of the other slice of bread so that the buttered sides face outwards (ie. Upwards and downwards)

14. When the light is green (see step 12) hold your spatula by the handle and slide it under the incomplete sandwich. Then carry it to the toaster and place it on the inside surface (If you are making more than one sandwich then spread them all evenly, otherwise place it in the middle)

15. Close the lid of the sandwich maker. Periodically every few minutes check if it is ready by opening the lid. If the bread’s surface has gone a golden brown colour then your food is ready. If not close the lid and repeat.

16. When your sandwich is cooked, use the spatula once again to remove it from the toaster (As previously explained) Place it on the plate and use one of the knives to cut it in half (Also as explained previously) or any other fraction that you happen to fancy. If you do not like the subject of mathematics in any manner you may leave this out if you wish to.

17. You may now take a seat and place your plate in front of you. Pick it up with your hands and bite off pieces chewing 20 times with each mouthful.

18. Enjoy. Thank you for reading.

19. The End